War Within

Pain is all I can feel killing me every day

Wrapped by walls thick and high, find myself in a cage

When I have to say yes but behave otherwise

Playing game to pretend being smart but not wise

 

And the stone is so hard and the rule is so strict

I’m helpless to break with my bloody smashed fists

And I’d wish to cry out to let someone hear

But choke down my tears whispering in despair

 

I’ve been looking for reason to find common sense

But life has proved to be a mess and nonsense

I came here for love but was nourished on hate

And nothing has changed and it’s still up to date

 

And killing myself will make me survive

Shall I be happy then staying alive?

Dreams have been sold for comfort and wealth

And no chance is left but losing my faith

 

Duty and passion the engine of war

And I hate to pray to the duty no more

And I keep my passion which glows in my soul

Destined to someone I’ll really know

 

And each time again when I join the fight

It appears I’m not on the winner’s side

Exhausted to fade and bleeding to death

I’m fiercely battling gasping for breath

 

And I pull up myself whatever the cost

While the war is still raging and it’s far to be lost

 

Alexander Negreyev
Minsk, Belarus
December 2013